Its Wednesday, January 14, 2015...6:44pm and I just read my last posts on this blog and ThruNancy'sEyes......How my life has changed.
The end of November 2014....someone walked into my life and changed it forever....This man is a widower of 12 years....and lives in the State of Michigan....we have been skyping since then every day at least 2 to 3 hours everyday.
Is it possible that two people  can find love this way......Right now I am experiencing feelings that I have never felt.....that's not to say that I didn't  love my Michael with all my heart but it is now 3 years since his passing into eternity....the loneliness at time was so overwhelming...this man that I met understood exactly what I was feeling.
We have developed a relationship through Skype exchanging pictures and talking about just everything.....He is a baptized Catholic....a God fearing man....but not as knowing about the Faith as I am....we are talking about a more serious relationship...moving towards marriage.  Both of us agree it has to be a marriage blessed by the Church.
I wonder how my children will accept the news....
Right now he is in Norway on an extended visit to family and will be leaving for a special project in Spain and Togo, Africa....he designs roads and bridges for a living but this project will afford him the opportunity to retire very shortly.
In two or a little more than that he will be coming to stay with me for a month....there is still so much to sort through.
Dear God....my heart is ready, my heart is ready to love again...please grant us the graces we need to know your will and  help our love grow stronger and become a reflection of the love YOU have for us both....In Jesus name I pray.....Amen

Today is Divine Mercy Sunday.  Lets all ask for God's Mercy to be poured out upon the earth and as the chaplet repeats "...have mercy on us and on the whole world."
Yesterday, Saturday the 6th of April at 2pm my sweet Winnie went to sleep in my arms forever.  As the injection was being administered he was giving me kisses to let me know it was okay, he wasn't going to hurt any longer.
Winnie was the last link to my dear husband Michael.
 He was our dog, our puppy, our Winnie.
Dear God, there has to be a place for good and faithful pets who give unconditional love to us all.
I would like to think that at that moment, Michael was calling him and they went off together forever.
Theologically, I just don't know. 
I do know that the Almighty and Powerful God loves all His creation.  The kind of faithful love a
small less that 20lb Yorkshire Terrier gave to both of us has to have some kind of merit somewhere.
Goodby sweet puppy, I will never forget you and all the joy and happiness you gave to Michael and me.  You got me through losing daddy and stayed by my side.  Always in protection mode, always
loving and looking to be loved.........Amen

SANDY AND THE NOR'EASTER

I was extremely blessed, that all I had was some damage to my gutters and downspout and a small
hole in the aluminum siding.
So many people have lost "everything" material....some have lost their lives.
In trying to make sense of such a natual catastrophe we must take time to pause and re-evaluate
the things that are most important in this life.
God, Family, Friends....just in that order.
When "Sandy" came roaring around my home, I was sitting in bed and my prayer was:
"Dear Father in Heaven either I am going to wake up in my bed or through Your mercy in Your loving arms."
I have decided to take sometime off from my volunteer commitments as the first anniversary of
my husbands death is fast coming...I am not looking forward to any of the coming Season which
is so Joyous....my heart is still heavy with the loss of my husbans presence.
I pray every day for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Hoping that I will be able to decern the will of God for me and the grace to act upon it.  To all who may read +Pax et bonum

We Haven't Finished Loving Each Other Yet

The title of this poem and the poem itself was submitted to the "Messenger of St. Anthony" written by the mother of Rosalind Upton of London, UK.....as a recent widow it brought me to tears as it expressed all my feelings and yet it gave me great comfort....so with great humility, I dare to post it in hopes that it can help other widow or widowers.

I woke up and he wasn't there any more,

I turned over in bed, but his place was empty,

And my lonely fingers were still searching for his.

My love is with you, Lord....

But Lord I can't get used to his absence,

I'm torn apart every time I wake up.....

He as gone to those distant shores....

They say that one gets used to it, Lord,

That time does its work, but I know now

That neither time nor death can vanquish love...

Today we have entered into purgatory,

I suffer because I am alone, 

And he suffers because he is far away

How could he be happy without me

When I am so unhappy without him?

But he is purifying our love in your light, Lord,

Whereas for me it is during my life that I must perfect it?

Help me my God to love him even more today in his absence

Than yesterday in his presence,

To love him for himself, expecting nothing in return.

Happy that he is happy close beside you.

Death can do nothing to my love.

That is why I am suffering because my spring has not run dry.

But my suffering, Lord, is still my suffering.

The dreadful loneliness of the long empty days.

The absence, the cruel absence.

The deep void into which my distraught heart plunges

without reaching the bottom.

I miss him, Lord.  Do you understand? I miss him:

forgive me, Lord.

It's when I forget to look at you, Lord, who suffered

so much for me.

You are waiting for me, Lord, and he is there beside you.

Watching me and supporting me with his

comforting love,

The joy that binds our two loves together,

Without ever destroying what they share.

I await our meeting, when I will be taken into the 

faithful arms of my beloved Lord in your

house infinitely and eternally.

[The previous was regrettably abridge by the person and/or persons posting "Letters to the Editor"

column in the Messenger of St. Anthony]

My opinion is that nothing of the feelings of the author was deleted.

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Why Some People need Sensitivity Training

Last Sunday my son Richard took me to the cemetery where my husband is interred in a Vault in a mausoleum.  We walked the entire inside and outside and could not find where the vault was located.
No map was present to let us know where?  Approximately 1 to 2 weeks after my husbands internment
took place two men from the company came to get the information to be inscribed on the marble.
I did so and signed said papers.
To date this has not been done and according to the manager it should have taken no longer than 4 weeks, it is now close to 6 1/2 months since my husband was interred.
Upon speaking with a rep, who was curt to the point of rude, lacking in any kind of compassion or
understanding told me "he couldn't set an appointment with the engraver until I had signed the paperwork."
To say that I was upset was mild, I was furious.  This person truly did not have a humble attitude which I
think under the circumstances, he should have been ashamed that they dropped the ball.  His second 
comment to me was that "we don't hunt down family members".....Imagine this kind of person working with
family of the deceased.....shame on them......

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