Purgation

On Sunday evenings my hubby & I watch an EWTN program called "Live with Fr. Benedict Groeschel". Oh! how I love that man of God. His guests for this past Sunday were Bishop Laun from Germany and Dr. Von Hildebrand. Dr. Von Hildebrand is the wife of Dr. Dietrich Von Hildebrand[deceased] a Theologian and one who was at the top of Hitler's list for extinction. Their discussion was about the role of a Bishop, but that is not what I want to talk about. Dr. Von Hildebrand in the course of the discussion said something that struck a chord with me relating to my own pilgrimage. I will have to paraphrase she said, " Truth never gets old or old fashion, Truth is forever young. We have forgotten that we are only creatures and not God."
Soooo true, that double edged sword called *free will*. When I could no longer trust anyone or anything especially God, my *free will* kicked in big time, I was the master of my destiny, I was the captain of my ship, I was educated and could do it all myself without the help of *anyone*....Oh! how wrong I was, because my willfulness led me down all the wrong paths, further & further away from the *Truth* which is I am a child of God, created in His image. All the *stuff* of my existence; the secrets & falsehoods; the deceptions & the lies fueled the anger and I became my own worst enemy. The lack of inner peace, the physical heart ache & the feeling of emptiness tormented my soul. In the blackest of times, when my soul cried out My Savior heard me and answered. I am still in awe of the fact that He is always faithful even when we are not. Of course all my issues were not solved at once, it took years, but He gave me the grace I needed to perservere and I am still a work in progress and always will be until that moment when I am perfected and can enter into the sight of God.
+Pax et bonum